modaspia

still

ursula

there is a pond near a little park that is pretty hidden but i know about it.  i’ve been there a few times, we go to feed the ducks and geese.  they followed us around the pond today, over a little foot bridge.  we stopped where 2 trees grew straight out of the water. the effect was magical. i’ve never encountered anyone at this pond, another thing that is special about it.  it’s surrounded by a shadowy forest of mossy trees and the native manzanita that grow all over here.  as we drove to the pond, my daughter and i, we didn’t say much.  i just wanted to get out with her and see the sunshine.  the weather has been beautiful.  there were huge atomic clouds in the sky.  so why do i feel sad.  clumsy.  out of touch.  i guess i get like that.  here’s the analogy.  instead of appreciating the beauty of a flower i’m just huge and trampling through a field of flowers crushing them with every step. that feeling of needing to slow down.  to not gulp life.  even creative endeavors feel heavy with deadlines lately, because they are.  maybe that’s just life.  the pond and woods were sort of dark and still .. that’s what i want to carry with me through the week.


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