modaspia

pompeii and loneliness

Ursula Dean

 

we visited pompeii - hot and dusty and near the sea in italy.  in the distance was mt. vesuvius, the volcano who's eruption in 79 a.d. wiped out pretty much anyone who didn't evacuate the city.  we mostly walked around quietly looking into the dwellings, following paths through archways and listening from time to time to a nearby tour guide.  at this point in the trip i was heartbroken that my son wasn't really enjoying this kind of travel.  i think i cried 6 times while in europe. it was difficult, that part of the trip.  i think by the time we left for europe he was more interested in staying home for the summer and hanging out with his mates.  i spent a lot of time trying to make him happy or comfortable or just interested in whatever we were doing that day.  raising a teenager has opened up some parts of me i didn't know were still there.  just complete anxiousness, a feeling of being heartbroken, feeling overwhelmed or just overbearing.  a lot of these feelings i associate with some rocky relationships in my 20s - which sounds strange but if you have a teenager you might understand.  i didn't realize that when they begin to (as they should) move away from you a bit, distance themselves from you in order to grow into an adult some day, that it left you on the opposite side of the road looking on.  and that feeling is incredibly intense.  so pompeii .. i loved the quiet of the place.